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Mile High Apple Pie

Although this new picture book is for children ages 5 to 7, every adult should also read this wonderfully moving story of a young girl's close bond with her grandmother who has dementia.

In 28 pages, Canadian writer Laura Langston and illustrator Lindsey Gardner, using a handful of sentences and charming drawings on each page, have captured the deep love that endures between a young granddaughter and her grandmother who lives with Margaret's family "because she can't remember." Langston based the book on a situation in her own family. She lets Margaret tell this story of a granddaughter who sees her failing grandmother for who she is "My Grandma's not the wrinkled kind; she's the special kind instead."

Margaret readily accepts her grandmother's failings. "Grandma still reads me stories, only now I help her with the words." Like best friends, they go outside to play, giggling, laughing, singing, talking to the birds, and walking Princess Pepper, the cat who prefers curling up in Grandma's lap while she rocks. "When Grandma gets mixed up, I tell her it's time for a nap. I keep her company while she rests."

When Grandma praises her granddaughter's piano playing "Excellent,Margaret, Chopin would be proud"--Margaret gives her a hug, instinctively accepting the praise without correcting her. "I was playing Bach but Grandma can't remember."

But when Margaret offers a sniff of the sweet peas that her Grandma still plants in spring, this time Grandma's mix-up "Lovely, roses are my favourite flower" does bring a frown to Margaret's face. This time, she doesn't hug her; retreating instead to her bedroom. Although Margaret's parents are very much in the background of the book, the author knows when to bring them forward to reassure Margaret and offer the reader more insight into the sometimes hurtful world of dementia. Margaret's mother murmurs, "It's okay, she loves them anyway."

There are other touching moments. Dad now bakes the grandmother's famous mile-high apple pie, but Grandma still helps, telling Margaret how to peel an apple. When Margaret cuts away the bruise, Grandma says, "the bruise is the best. All the sweetness in the apple rushes to the soft, brown bit." Dad laughs, but Grandma insists, "A fruit man told me once. I remember." And the family keeps the bruises in the pie. "Because Grandma remembered."

Early in the book, Margaret's dad tells her that "one day Grandma's remembering will go away for ever, and "she will forget everything, even our names." Margaret denies this. "He is wrong." But Grandma begins to forget the way home on their walks. And of course the day does come when Grandma asks Margaret, "And who are you, my dear?" How do you describe such a feeling? "My head goes all whooshy, my eyes start to sting." This time, despite her mother's reassurances, Margaret begins to withdraw. Sometimes "I wish Grandma didn't live here any more."

In two pages, Langston describes the reality of caring for someone with dementia at home and the difference a respite can make. "We need a break," says Dad. Grandma leaves for a week. A week of pepperoni pizza and noisy friends! Fun, but "no one sits in the special chair and rocks quick, quick, quick."

One sunny afternoon, Grandma is back. "Hello, my dear," she says and pulls Margaret close. Like so many adults, Margaret can't resist asking, "Do you know who I am?"

I won't spoil the book by revealing the tender ending when both Margaret and her Grandma are able to reassure each other. After a child reads the book, you can make Grandma's mile-high apple pie together, using the recipe in the back of the book. If you do lend the book to an adult, offer a hanky along with a piece of pie.

Lindsey Gardiner's colourful illustrations that run jauntily across double page spreads, add much beyond her cheerful depictions of Margaret's world. Her drawings of Grandma will remind many adult readers of those they have known with dementia from her slightly out-of-focus pansy-blue eyes and just-washed, wispy cloud of white hair to her cuddling of Princess pepper the cat, and her own wide-apart stance when standing hand-in-hand with Margaret.

The author wrote the book to be read by children ages 5 to 7, but parents or grandparents could read the book to pre-school children. The language is simple and direct "Grandma lives with us now because she can't remember." Not every child will have a grandparent just like Margaret's Grandma, of course. Every relationship is different, and every grandparent's dementia will be different. But the book does a good job in recognizing the mixed emotions that all children in this circumstance feel--from love to sadness, guilt and even resentment. And the messages are simple truths. With acceptance and love, comes patience. Names are just memory. Those with dementia always know who they love. And who loves them.

Reviewed by Kerry McPhedran, writer, caregiver for her mother and volunteer with the Alzheimer Society of B.C.