BOOK REVIEW

Author Earl Smith has experienced first hand the emotional “storm” that a caregiver of a loved one afflicted with a dementia must cope with. While caring for his wife, Joyce, Earl experienced many obstacles and challenges. He has described them in wonderful detail using the analogy of enduring a storm.

In Forgetting? Age or Disease Related? Earl provides the reader with information and tips for coping (mostly based on personal experiences) using subtitles such as: The Flood Begins, The Emotional Tornado, Calming the Storm , The Eye of the Storm, As the Storm Subsides and The End of the Drama.

In each section of the book Earl describes in simple terms what he experienced, what he learned from clinicians and doctors, and what he discovered from his own research, including a course he took in Gerontology. In the end, Earl offers the reader amazing insight into the world of dementia from a caregiver’s perspective.

In Calming the Storm, Earl offers the reader no fewer than sixteen tips on how to try to stay calm when everything seems to be getting out of hand and the whole world seems too overwhelming.

In As the Storm Subsides, Earl describes in detail dealing with the transition of a loved one to a care facility. He goes on to describe how important it is to plan ahead and provides hints to make sure the caregiver gets the most out of each visit with their loved one.

Finally, Earl offers insight once a spouse is living in a facility: ”You are neither married, nor single. You have a spouse, but no one intimate to comfort you. You can do things but you cannot share the joys, at least in the same way as with your spouse. Detachment is a reality that must be faced, and life must go on. Seek the company of others. Seek the guidance of those who have the knowledge of how to cope. Seek the comfort of whatever source of religion or support you find to be the most use to you.”

Although it’s implied between each word and each sentence in this wonderful book, Earl best sums up his message in the acknowledgments, “To all caregivers, especially those who can struggle on with a smile when all seems lost. True love is in the giving.”

Review provided by: Darryl Oakley, Regional Psychogeriatric Support & Education Coordinator for Interior Health, and a member of the Alzheimer Society of B.C. Board of Directors.