Reacting to your Diagnosis

Receiving a diagnosis of dementia can be overwhelmingly frightening. Every person reacts differently to an unwelcome diagnosis. There is no right way or wrong way to react.

We can think of the reaction to hearing bad news as having five phases. These phases can be experienced and re-experienced in any order. There are no time limits to the range of reactions and emotions that people go through when receiving catastrophic news.

  1. Shock and Numbness
    A diagnosis of dementia can come as a shock, even if you have been half expecting it.
    2.  
  2. Disbelief and Denial
    "This can’t be happening to me/us!”  “It isn’t as bad as the doctors say.” In the beginning, denial can be a positive force. We use denial to shield ourselves from news too painful to bear, as we adjust inwardly to our new reality.
    3.  
  3. "A ‘hurricane’ or a ‘roller-coaster ride’ of uncomfortable feelings of anger and frustration; a trajectory through emotional devastation
    It takes time to sort through the many reactions and emotions including frustration and anger at the situation, at the disease, at others and even at oneself. However, some people experience a sense of relief to know there is a medical reason behind the changes they have noticed in their thoughts and actions.
     
  4. Despondency and Sadness
    Everyone will experience periods of feeling:
    • helpless and powerless in the face of the implications of the diagnosis-confronting one’s limitations.
    • intensely sad when considering all the losses this disease has caused and may cause as time goes on-the healthy, happy years that are past and the lost years of the future.
    • worried and fearful: “What’s going to happen next?
       
  5. Acceptance
    Accepting the problem rather than avoiding it, and then realizing that the situation must be adjusted to rather than actively changed. Acceptance will involve recognizing and becoming reconciled to the limits of the body.
A degree of denial is essential. Like somebody drinking hot coffee, we sip the truth of our condirion carefully and gently.
J. W. Anthony

Telling Others about Your Diagnosis

Who you tell about your diagnosis and how you tell them is an
intensely personal part of any journey with an illness. There are a
few things you may want to consider:

  • Disclosing your diagnosis to those closest to you who may be able to give you help and support is important in facing the challenges of dementia.
  • The degree of closeness or importance of the relationship with your individual colleagues, friends, and family may be a factor in deciding who to tell.
  • You do not need to tell anyone unless you want to.


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